


a rock and a hard place

by Anonymous



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Genderbending, Growing Up Together, Internalized Homophobia, Non-Linear Narrative, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Unresolved Romantic Tension, just a little, starring sapnap’s gay panic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:14:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28356816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: sapnap doesn’t realize she’s fallen until it’s already too late.or, the ways sapnap and dream’s relationship changes over the years, and the ways it stays the same.
Relationships: Clay | Dream/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 47





	a rock and a hard place

**Author's Note:**

> hi hi ! so like, disclaimer, i don’t actually rlly ship irl ppl but i think that dreamnap has a rlly cute dynamic that’s perfect for this kind of fic so i banged this out in like twenty minutes
> 
> anyways i am only but a touchstarved lesbian incapable of writing abt men so i was like well... dreamnap except they’re pining and also they’re girls ...
> 
> title (sadly) from that one 5sos song.. u know the one.. i just thought it fit the vibe very well and it also reminds me of being confused and gay in middle school.
> 
> anyways pls enjoy this was extremely experimental (and unedited) and the next 2(?) chapters will (probably) be longer!!

vii

it starts like this: monkey bars, a crushed ant hill, bruises lining her bleeding knees, and an outstretched hand, adorned with transformers bandaids.

“i’m clara,” she grins, bright as the sun despite the gap left by a missing tooth, and nicki has no choice but to grab her hand and smile back, already doomed from the beginning. “i think we’re gonna be great friends!”

xiv

being fourteen fucking sucks. highschool is full of boys who drool over dream and stare at sapnap when her uniform skirt rides up, boys who corner other girls against walls and harass them, boys who never know when to stop making stupid jokes from the back of the classroom.

sapnap doesn’t like boys. they’re loud and arrogant and weird, and they smell _really_ gross, an obnoxious mix of sweat and axe body spray. she likes girls, the way they wear dainty rings on all of their fingers and the way they undo the top button of their uniforms. girls always smell nice, and they never ogle other girls, or force them up against walls, or feel them up like boys do. (deep down, sapnap secretly wishes a girl would stare at her in the way that boys looked at dream when she’d roll up the sleeves of her shirt and pull her hair into a ponytail).

( _deep deep down, she wishes dream looked at—)_

highschool means that it’s no longer _pandas and dream_ against the world - pandas turned into sapnap in middle school, and nicknames stopped being cool after seventh grade. and dream - dream has always attracted others, like the sun; constantly the center of attention, all of the other planets doomed to orbit around her.

 _pandas and dream_ becomes clara and nicki. clara and all of her other cool, pretty friends. just nicki, alone. 

it’s most obvious in moments like these, sapnap thinks. ones where they have to actually play sports during gym class, days where it’s warm enough to go on the field and kick around a ball, and everyone begs dream to put them on her team. 

she looks at dream from across the field, sweaty and smiling with an arm thrown around her shoulders and a horde of other girls high fiving her for scoring a goal. her freckles seem to glow today, like little flecks of gold peeking through from her cheeks, lining her nose and trailing down her arms. she looks unreal, untouchable. sapnap flicks her gaze back to the top soil with a sigh. 

_just nicki, alone._

the heat continues to beat down on her back unforgivingly, as if reflecting the mess of emotions sapnap has been feeling for the last three months. her gym shirt sticks to her skin uncomfortably with sweat. high school really fucking sucks.

x

sapnap can’t even remember what the fight was about. first, they argue about who gets to be rosalina for their third round of mario kart, and then dream is stomping out of her room as sapnap calls her the worst friend to ever exist. 

she doesn’t mean it, of course. dream is the second most important person in her life, next to her mom, of course. but sometimes, dream just got her _so_ angry! 

regardless, she misses her best friend. it’s been three long, boring days, and sapnap knows that both her and dream are way too stubborn to break the ice first. 

her mom must get fed up by sapnap sulking around, poking mildly at her food and refusing to go play outside. 

she puts down her fork during dinner with a clatter, and sighs. “nicki,” her mom starts, and sapnap frowns at the use of her given name. “why aren’t you and clara talking?” 

“we got into a fight,” sapnap sniffs, feigning a mild tone as her mashed potatoes go from a mountain to a smiley face. 

her mom gives her a pointed look, and suddenly stands up. 

“i’ve had enough of this,” she huffs as she begins punching a number into her phone. “you and clara are being ridiculous.”

10 minutes later, sapnap ends up in dream’s room, shuffling her feet awkwardly as she looks anywhere but her friend. their moms threatened to lock them in dream’s room until they made up, and with a shudder, sapnap thinks they were being serious. 

the silence just continues to grow, to the point where sapnap can’t take it anymore. she begins to sniffle and runs into her best friend’s turned back, tackling her into a bear hug. 

“dream,” she wails, tucking her head into dream’s shoulder. “i’m so sorry! you’re the bestest friend in the world! i miss you!” 

dream stays silent for another moment before turning in sapnap’s arms, equally teary eyed. “i should be more sorry, pandas. i caused the fight anyways.” dream’s tears stain her panda bear sweatshirt. 

after hugging it out and playing a few games of smash bros, their moms both agree to a sleepover, and dream and sapnap end up curled next to eachother in dream’s bed.

they’re so close that sapnap can hear dream’s heartbeat, the steady _badump_ of it lulling her eyes closed. 

“pandas,” dream whispers, tangling their legs together. “promise that we’ll be best friends forever.”

their pinkies link as they lay side by side, and sapnap stares earnestly into emerald green eyes, sparkling brighter than any gem she’s ever seen. “promise, dream.”

xvi

something changes. being around dream makes her palms sweat, more than they ever have before, and sapnap doesn’t know how to react to the feeling of her throat closing up every time dream winks or makes a flirty joke.

 _this isn’t normal,_ she thinks, tapping her fingers in succession against her desk. _it is most definitely not normal for me to blush every time dream touches me._ she loosens her tie, pulse beating uncomfortably against the windsor knot against her throat, tuning out the endless droning of her american history professor. 

to test herself, she peeks at dream from the corner of her eye, just to see if she’ll blush. it’s a big, fat mistake. 

dream isn’t paying a lick of attention either, the top few buttons of her shirt undone to the point where it’s toeing the line of indecent, sleeves rolled up a quarter of the way as she holds up her hair with one hand, using the other to fan the back of her neck. sapnap feels heat spread all the way to her _ears,_ eyeing the blonde hairs curling at the base of dream’s neck, and sapnap knows she’s not just feeling flushed because of the broken ac.

clearly, she stares at her best friend for way too long, because the blonde turns to look at her and raises a single eyebrow, dropping her hair in favor of leaning her chin against her palm. 

“you alright, sap?” she whispers, gesturing to sapnap’s cheeks that he _knows_ are burning. “your face is all like, red or whatever,” dream pauses, and then cracks a smile, adding, “you also kind of look like you just saw the second coming of christ.” 

“shut up, doofus,” sapnap responds immediately, ears only getting warmer at the dream’s soft wheeze, smile only getting wider. “and i’m just really warm right now, it’s like satan’s goddamn asshole in here.” (she doesn’t add that while she didn’t see the coming of christ, she did see a goddess. sapnap bites down on the inside of her cheek hard enough to ground herself).

dream rolls her eyes fondly, and reaches out to twirl the bottom of sapnap’s tie around her finger.“maybe if you didn’t have your shirt buttoned all the way up to your chin, you’d feel better, you dork.” 

right as sapnap opens her mouth to defend herself, dream leans over to her seat, fingers deftly undoing the two buttons covering sapnap’s neck, the tops of her collarbone. they linger for a second, gentle around her jawline, trailing down to brush against her collarbone as they adjust her tie. dream hums in satisfaction as she pulls away, freckled nose scrunching. 

“much better,” she nods, and promptly goes back to writing in her notebook like nothing happened. 

sapnap’s heart is beating so fast she thinks it’s gonna burst out of her chest, fall right onto her desk where everyone can see and will know that she’s feeling things that she shouldn’t be.

sapnap swallows around the lump in her throat and clenches her fists, still feelings dream’s delicate touch against her skin. 

sapnap knows what changed, now, and really wishes that she didn’t. 

**Author's Note:**

> i cant even tell if this is coherent i have not written fanfiction in like two years
> 
> also the roman numerals r supposed to align w how old they r so like 7,14,10,16 ,, pls lmk if i wrote the wrong one
> 
> (also also i just realized i was kind of vague abt their ages... i made them the same age and they go to a private school hence the uniform)


End file.
